Obama Raises Millions from the Hated 1% after Raising $47 from Wall Street Occupiers

$47? Give me a friggin' break.

"No winning President ever got elected with funding from poor people living in tents."
Despite White House Senior Adviser David Plouffe embracing the Occupy Wall Street protests on behalf of President Barack Obama in an interview with Good Morning America in October, the President turned to the “hated 1%” for his reelection fundraising needs after complaining that his $1 per plate fundraiser down at Zucotti Park netted a grand total of $47.

“Now what am I gonna do with $47?” the President asked as counted and smoothed out the wadded dollar bills and stained dimes and nickels in the back seat of the Presidential limo as he pulled away from Zucotti on his way to a “now this is more like it” $35,800-per-plate gala at Gotham Bar and Grill.

“I love the 1%,” Obama said as he pocketed the occupy money, “I can demonize them all day long, call them fat cats and whatever, yet they write $35,000 checks at the drop of a hat. It’s awesome.”

"Eat the Rich? Go right ahead, right after they stroke a check to my reelection campaign!"  

An Obama spokesman said that the President will not be doing any more fundraisers with the Occupy movement. “While the President is sympathetic to the movement, and wishes it great success, being rich is really where it’s at. No winning President ever got elected with funding from poor people living in tents.”