(Reprinted from the Pyongyang Sentinal-Exponent)
The magnificent capitalistic monarchy of North Korea, gloriously saddened by the sudden death of Dear leader Kim Jong Il, and powerful and hardy accolades of self-preserving applause greets the celebrated successor of our former superb dear leader, that being immaculate leader Kim Jong Kardashian, offspring of the loins of celebrated turtle doves that erupted from the white mountains of Pyongyang at the announcement of the passing of our celebrated once dear leader, Kim Jong il!
Let chest thumpings commence as the immaculation of our face-painted leader of the glorious republic assumes the position of! Loud huzzahs fail to impeccably capture the dynamacy of the moment, as immaculate leader Kim Jong Kardashian, clad in clouds of deific prominence, and shorn in puffed up hair, magnificent sunglasses and velvet track suits found so consoling to our former dead leader, comes to our grand country to assure the peaceful democratic assumption of glorious relations with nearby neighbors and peaceful transitions to neighborly kindness so embraced by former dear leader, Kim Jong il. Food and water are unnecessary to the well-being Republic of Korean peoples as the immaculate leader Kim Jong Kardashian shall provide all, and including nourishment.
So let us commence the proud welcoming of the fruit of the turteldove’s loins, as sprung forth is the glorious immaculation of Kim Jong Kardashian, soothing leader of the people of North Korea!
The magnificent capitalistic monarchy of North Korea, gloriously saddened by the sudden death of Dear leader Kim Jong Il, and powerful and hardy accolades of self-preserving applause greets the celebrated successor of our former superb dear leader, that being immaculate leader Kim Jong Kardashian, offspring of the loins of celebrated turtle doves that erupted from the white mountains of Pyongyang at the announcement of the passing of our celebrated once dear leader, Kim Jong il!
Let chest thumpings commence as the immaculation of our face-painted leader of the glorious republic assumes the position of! Loud huzzahs fail to impeccably capture the dynamacy of the moment, as immaculate leader Kim Jong Kardashian, clad in clouds of deific prominence, and shorn in puffed up hair, magnificent sunglasses and velvet track suits found so consoling to our former dead leader, comes to our grand country to assure the peaceful democratic assumption of glorious relations with nearby neighbors and peaceful transitions to neighborly kindness so embraced by former dear leader, Kim Jong il. Food and water are unnecessary to the well-being Republic of Korean peoples as the immaculate leader Kim Jong Kardashian shall provide all, and including nourishment.
So let us commence the proud welcoming of the fruit of the turteldove’s loins, as sprung forth is the glorious immaculation of Kim Jong Kardashian, soothing leader of the people of North Korea!
