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| Strumberg (L) waiting to deposit. "I thought all that stuff was just ads." |
“I thought the screen was just some kind of advertising,” claims the panicky Bull Finch Road resident, “and no, I didn’t bother to read all the instructions that popped up. I just kept hitting ‘yes’ until the screen instructed to ‘deposit in the slot at right’. It’s all very confusing, and now I’m kind of pissed about the whole thing.”
A Red Box spokeswoman said that no one has ever confused their movie distribution units for an ATM before, so their process for how to proceed regarding Strumberg is murky at best. “We had a local servicing tech for that location, however, he resigned about two weeks ago. It is possible he was retrieving Mr. Strumberg’s paychecks from the unit, but he claims he did not. A new technician was just hired and he has not found any paychecks deposited in that unit.”
Newsfromdoswell found the name and contacted the former technician – an Ashland resident named George Winder, who now works for a local recycling firm off Lewistown Road. “I told Red Box and I’m telling you I never found no paychecks in the box,” he said after his shift, shifting uncomfortably in a brand new leather coat. “And I got nothing more to say about it.” Winder then grumpily got into his Trans Am and left, its brand new tires and spinners tearing away in a cloud of dust.
Branscomb Concrete verified that the checks were cashed but has no copies of them because apparently they were cashed at one of those Iranian food marts over near the Richmond Fairgrounds and they are filtered through some overseas bank that does not provide images.
For now a sheepish and now broke Strumberg claims from here on out he will be depositing his paycheck in a normal ATM and not Red Box, for sure. “There’s an ATM right in front of Rite-Aid in Ashland,” he says, “And I am positive it is not a Red Box because it’s blue.”
