Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Richmond Occupiers told to “Get out of that yard” by Old woman waving flabby Tricep

Yeats tricep: Pretty darn scary
Richmond occupiers camping out in Richmond Free Press publisher Ray Boone’s yard were horrified when they were told to “Get out of that yard” by an older woman in a sleeveless shirt and an apron who stood in the yard beside them, pointing and waggling her flabby mudflap of a tricep in their direction.

Doris Yeats of Doswell’s Old Ridge Road was recruited by Mayor Dwight Jones to try to scare the occupiers from Boone’s yard by waving her drooping upper arm adipose in their direction because of her success in Doswell of scaring young kids out of her own yard by the same method.

Many of the occupiers ran into their tents upon hearing her raspy crone-like voice and seeing the slap-slapping wave of her upper arm flab, although it has yet to induce any of them to actually leave the yard.

“I can stand there all day and just yell ‘You occupiers get out of that yard’ with no effect whatsoever, but when I raise my arm and jiggle that hanging, trembling underarm wattle they always bolt” She says.

The Richmond Occupy spokesman known only as “Sunchip” told Newsfromdoswell that although Ms. Yeatts was “scary”, it’s going to take a lot more than a grumpy old bat chastising them while waving her sagging appendage meat to force them to leave.

“Now, of course, if we are violating some city ordinance against outdoor camping, or are in violation of some neighborhood association ruling barring tent camping, then we will gladly leave,” said Sunchip.

Upon hearing that admission from the occupy leader, Mayor Dwight Jones responded by saying “Hmmm…” while rubbing his chin, forcing him to reconsider his earlier idea of treating all the occupiers with complimentary aerosol vegetable spray.