 |
| Occupier: 2 or 3 servings should do it |
Noting that the occupiers in the yard next across from his looked a little “sickly and malnourished”, Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones announced an initiative to give the occupiers free servings of aerosolized vegetable spray, starting next Monday.
“It pains me greatly to see these young people living in tents and eating poorly-prepared, nutrient-free meals,” said the Mayor. “So as mayor, I am going to appropriate funds from the general fund to give this vegetable spray to the occupiers. Believe me, it is the least I can do as my way of saying sorry after the Kanawha fiasco.” (Richmond police broke up the Kanawha occupation at 1 AM Halloween night, drawing heavy criticism for their heavy-handed tactics).
Starting on Monday, November 28, a Richmond city employee will arrive at Dwight Jones’ home across the road from the home of Richmond Free Press Publisher Roy Boone, the current site of the Occupy Richmond movement. “I would like the occupiers camping in Mr. Boone’s yard then to come out front and sit down on the sidewalk,” said Jones, adding that then the city employee will then go from occupier to occupier, giving them a complimentary does of the healthy vegetable spray.
Occupy Richmond leaders were glad there seemed to be improvement in the relations between them and the Mayor after the announcement of the vegetable spray initiative. “The Mayor’s caving,” said a spokesman who went by the name “Sunchip”. “I hope this is not a trick – I mean, is it organic vegetable spray, from veggies hand-picked by immigrants? We don’t want some kind of mass produced, over-processed spray full of artificial additives.”
 |
| Mayor Dwight Jones: You kids get out of that yard |
“Oh, this vegetable spray is VERY organic,” the Mayor reiterated. “It is an extract from vegetables commonly used in such everyday foods from exotic places like India and Thailand. It is delicious, healthy and chockful of vitamins. And I know too that is has a very very small amount of red coloring to enhance the, um, dining experience.”
Occupiers in Boone’s yard who wish to receive the complimentary veggie spray should be out on the sidewalk no later than 9:00 AM, Monday, November 28.
