But When I started to talk! –
As told by B. Obama
F. Calderon had just said his goodbyes and boarded the helicopter. The room rang with applause. I decided that this would be a dramatic moment for me to make my debut. To the amazement of William, Saul, Jeremiah and all my friends, colleagues and members of congress, I strode confidently right past the teleprompters.
“Barry is up to his old tricks,” somebody chuckled. They were all certain I could not speak a word without them.
“Can he really mock his critics effectively without a prompter?” I heard Nancy whisper to Joe.
“Heavens no!” Joe exclaimed, “he never spoke a f***ing word without a teleprompter in all his life . . . you just watch him. This is going to be good!”
“What do you think of his clean and articulate diction?” someone asked.
“We’re in favor of it!” came back the answer, and the crowd rocked with laughter as I noted to order a predator drone strike on the guilty party. He won’t see it coming.
Then I started to Speak
Instantly a tense silence fell on the congressional delegation. The laughter died on their lips as if by magic. I mocked and ridiculed Republicans, Tea party activists and Arizona residents, speaking through the first few paragraphs of “Rules for Radicals”, using only outlines on index cards. I heard gasps of amazement – my friends sat spellbound!
I spoke on and as I spoke I forgot the fawning butt-kissers around me. I forgot the hour, the place; the sycophantic journalists who got me elected by ignoring my background and focusing on Sarah Palin hung on to every word. The America I lived in grew dim, to fade – almost unreal. The master Alinsky himself spoke through me – through the medium of non-prompted speech – not in sentences but in the words of a personal hero Woodrow Wilson, like “history written with lightning”.
Let me be clear: A complete triumph!
As the final words of the Alinsky and Jeremiah Wright-inspired speech faded away with my favorite Deity-like echo I ordered from the sound guy, the room resounded with the sudden roar of applause. I found myself surrounded by excited faces. How those formerly objective journalists carried on! Maher, Olberman, Blitzer, all wildly congratulated me – pounded me on the back in enthusiasm! Chris Matthews’ right leg jimmied up and down with delight; women swooned, and as I called for them to back away to allow air, they plied me with rapid questions – “Barry, where did you learn to talk like that?” . . .”How long did you practice?” . . . “Was Rev. Wright your teacher?”
“I sat in Reverend Wright’s church, but I never heard Reverend Wright’s words,” I replied, “And just a short while ago I could not speak a syllable without a teleprompter!”
“Quit your f***ing kidding,” laughed Lunchbucket Joe ‘Bite me’ before he fell backwards off the viewing stand, “That smarta** has been practicing for years, I can ta-aaiieeehhhh!”
“I have been studying only a short while,” I insisted, “I decided to keep these talents and abilities a secret so I could surprise all you folks, and especially, the American taxpayers who thought they were voting in a liberal centrist.”
Then I told them the whole story. “Have you ever heard of the Association of community organizing?”
A few of my more radical friends nodded. “That’s ACORN, isn’t it?”
“Exactly” I replied. “They sponsor a new simplified method that can teach you to spew socialistic maxims without people even realizing it – without unseemly teleprompters!”
“But hasn’t ACORN been run out of business by Fox News?” Somebody asked.
“No, ACORN has simply fundamentally transformed itself.” I answered.
How I learned SocialistSpeak without a Teleprompter
Then I explained how I had longed to spout the overreaching Government Marxist slogans my mentors had done so effortlessly for years.
“A few months ago,” I continued, “I saw an interesting ad for the Association for Community Organizing, of a new way to fundamentally transform capitalistic ways of thinking, which costs taxpayers only billions per day with no Immigration loopholes or laborious tax laws. I thought ‘why can’t I guarantee success like that?’ The ad sounded so convincing I filled out the coupon requesting the free materials.”
“The free book, ‘Rules for Radicals’, arrived within days, and I started that very night to study the socialistic screeds that would hoodwink responsible newspeople, turning them into drooling yes-men, even though I didn’t know beans about economics. It was easy as I-R-S. Before I knew it I was holding my own with Ayers, Alinsky, Wright, Chavez and all the others. Nothing stopped me, I could out-bluster them all, with equal ease.”
You too, can teach yourself to be an accomplished socialist President – right at a guy from the neighborhood’s home, or from your mega-church, with no preconditions – in half the usual time. You cannot go wrong with this simple method that has already shown over 435 congresspeople how to ignore what made America great and embrace radical leftist entitlement policies and cronyism, turning a once-thriving American economy into a stale pre-Weimar European quagmire. Forget old-fashioned ideas of “Capitalism”, because there comes a point when you’ve made enough money. Just read the approved list and pick the ones that are right for your fundamentally transformed way of thinking. Best of all, no matter what big government ‘nanny-state’ radicalism you espouse, the cost is the same – just billions a day:
· Creating health care reform then running from it
· Taking a firm stand against Religious Intolerance (especially Islam)
· Mis-handling Gulf oil spills
· Embracing selective immigration enforcement
· Political correctness walking amok
· Closing the gap between GDP and national debt
· Race hustling
Send for free literature and a demonstration
Thousands of successful Marxist students like me never dreamed they possessed the acumen to enter the White House until it was revealed to them by the constant drumbeat of the evils of capitalistic conservative government by leftist Czars, taxpayer-funded public university instructors and drooling, clueless, tingling liberal media pundits. Send today – for no cost (to you or your movement) or obligation. Sign and send the convenient coupon right now to gain these benefits, before Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin get wind of them and we have to again play the race card.
The Fundamentally Transformed Association of Community Organization, Chicago, Illinois.
F. Calderon had just said his goodbyes and boarded the helicopter. The room rang with applause. I decided that this would be a dramatic moment for me to make my debut. To the amazement of William, Saul, Jeremiah and all my friends, colleagues and members of congress, I strode confidently right past the teleprompters.
“Barry is up to his old tricks,” somebody chuckled. They were all certain I could not speak a word without them.
“Can he really mock his critics effectively without a prompter?” I heard Nancy whisper to Joe.
“Heavens no!” Joe exclaimed, “he never spoke a f***ing word without a teleprompter in all his life . . . you just watch him. This is going to be good!”
“What do you think of his clean and articulate diction?” someone asked.
“We’re in favor of it!” came back the answer, and the crowd rocked with laughter as I noted to order a predator drone strike on the guilty party. He won’t see it coming.
Then I started to Speak
Instantly a tense silence fell on the congressional delegation. The laughter died on their lips as if by magic. I mocked and ridiculed Republicans, Tea party activists and Arizona residents, speaking through the first few paragraphs of “Rules for Radicals”, using only outlines on index cards. I heard gasps of amazement – my friends sat spellbound!
I spoke on and as I spoke I forgot the fawning butt-kissers around me. I forgot the hour, the place; the sycophantic journalists who got me elected by ignoring my background and focusing on Sarah Palin hung on to every word. The America I lived in grew dim, to fade – almost unreal. The master Alinsky himself spoke through me – through the medium of non-prompted speech – not in sentences but in the words of a personal hero Woodrow Wilson, like “history written with lightning”.
Let me be clear: A complete triumph!
As the final words of the Alinsky and Jeremiah Wright-inspired speech faded away with my favorite Deity-like echo I ordered from the sound guy, the room resounded with the sudden roar of applause. I found myself surrounded by excited faces. How those formerly objective journalists carried on! Maher, Olberman, Blitzer, all wildly congratulated me – pounded me on the back in enthusiasm! Chris Matthews’ right leg jimmied up and down with delight; women swooned, and as I called for them to back away to allow air, they plied me with rapid questions – “Barry, where did you learn to talk like that?” . . .”How long did you practice?” . . . “Was Rev. Wright your teacher?”
“I sat in Reverend Wright’s church, but I never heard Reverend Wright’s words,” I replied, “And just a short while ago I could not speak a syllable without a teleprompter!”
“Quit your f***ing kidding,” laughed Lunchbucket Joe ‘Bite me’ before he fell backwards off the viewing stand, “That smarta** has been practicing for years, I can ta-aaiieeehhhh!”
“I have been studying only a short while,” I insisted, “I decided to keep these talents and abilities a secret so I could surprise all you folks, and especially, the American taxpayers who thought they were voting in a liberal centrist.”
Then I told them the whole story. “Have you ever heard of the Association of community organizing?”
A few of my more radical friends nodded. “That’s ACORN, isn’t it?”
“Exactly” I replied. “They sponsor a new simplified method that can teach you to spew socialistic maxims without people even realizing it – without unseemly teleprompters!”
“But hasn’t ACORN been run out of business by Fox News?” Somebody asked.
“No, ACORN has simply fundamentally transformed itself.” I answered.
How I learned SocialistSpeak without a Teleprompter
Then I explained how I had longed to spout the overreaching Government Marxist slogans my mentors had done so effortlessly for years.
“A few months ago,” I continued, “I saw an interesting ad for the Association for Community Organizing, of a new way to fundamentally transform capitalistic ways of thinking, which costs taxpayers only billions per day with no Immigration loopholes or laborious tax laws. I thought ‘why can’t I guarantee success like that?’ The ad sounded so convincing I filled out the coupon requesting the free materials.”
“The free book, ‘Rules for Radicals’, arrived within days, and I started that very night to study the socialistic screeds that would hoodwink responsible newspeople, turning them into drooling yes-men, even though I didn’t know beans about economics. It was easy as I-R-S. Before I knew it I was holding my own with Ayers, Alinsky, Wright, Chavez and all the others. Nothing stopped me, I could out-bluster them all, with equal ease.”
You too, can teach yourself to be an accomplished socialist President – right at a guy from the neighborhood’s home, or from your mega-church, with no preconditions – in half the usual time. You cannot go wrong with this simple method that has already shown over 435 congresspeople how to ignore what made America great and embrace radical leftist entitlement policies and cronyism, turning a once-thriving American economy into a stale pre-Weimar European quagmire. Forget old-fashioned ideas of “Capitalism”, because there comes a point when you’ve made enough money. Just read the approved list and pick the ones that are right for your fundamentally transformed way of thinking. Best of all, no matter what big government ‘nanny-state’ radicalism you espouse, the cost is the same – just billions a day:
· Creating health care reform then running from it
· Taking a firm stand against Religious Intolerance (especially Islam)
· Mis-handling Gulf oil spills
· Embracing selective immigration enforcement
· Political correctness walking amok
· Closing the gap between GDP and national debt
· Race hustling
Send for free literature and a demonstration
Thousands of successful Marxist students like me never dreamed they possessed the acumen to enter the White House until it was revealed to them by the constant drumbeat of the evils of capitalistic conservative government by leftist Czars, taxpayer-funded public university instructors and drooling, clueless, tingling liberal media pundits. Send today – for no cost (to you or your movement) or obligation. Sign and send the convenient coupon right now to gain these benefits, before Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin get wind of them and we have to again play the race card.
The Fundamentally Transformed Association of Community Organization, Chicago, Illinois.
