“We cannot condone a Peace prize winner advocating personal violence against person or persons, and that includes ass-kickings” stated the platinum-haired Jagland, through an almost impossible to understand opaque Scandinavian accent. “The committee expects its winners something something to something having to do with upholding the standards and virtues of George Nobel”, he stated, we think.
“We have sent a notice to Mr. Obama to pack up the prize in its original shipping box, with all the paperwork and the warranty, and mail it priority mail.” said Lundestad. “If we have not received the award by July 30, we will have to regretfully go into the collection process.”
White House spokesman Bill Burton shrugs off the erudite requests of the Norwegian desk jockeys. “It’ll be a warm day in Norway when we send that award back,” he laughed. “Besides I threw away the packing box and we popped all the bubble wrap at the last intern mixer.” Everyone in the White House briefing room then proceeded to jeer and curse the befuddled Norwegians, Monty Python-style.
“Well , I never . . .” sputtered Jagland and Lundestad, who were shocked, shocked by the audacity of the White House. “Obama!” they shouted, waving their pasty white fists in un-sunlit feeble anger.
Although no award has ever been rescinded before, a google search shows that former vice president Al Gore was asked to write a 300-word essay about why he should be allowed to keep his Nobel Prize after global warming was proven to be a hoax. Gore never wrote the essay, and the Nobel committee awards verification team is now in Dutch with Jagland.
