Paper towels sit unused in top right cabinet
Independence Road resident Wallace Greenberg tipped over a bottle of olive oil cooking spaghetti Thursday night, now the spill has reached his center kitchen island.
Greenberg admitted to not immediately reacting to the spill, choosing to leave the mess for his wife, Debbie, who claimed the mess was not her fault and refused to act on it. Now, almost 36 hours later, the oil has reached the center island and threatens to seep underneath, where it could spoil and cause an unknown number of problems.
"There is no reason why Debbie could not have grabbed some towels and soaked up the olive oil," said Greenberg, clenching his jaw in subdued anger. "Now the kitchen smells like a greasy, sweaty Italian guy - sorry, a greasy, sweaty Italian-American."
Debbie states that the spill was caused by Wallace's incompetence, seeing as how he had pounded down about 10 Schlitz Malt Liquor Bulls before getting it in his head that he wanted spaghetti. "I told him - we had dinner already. If he wanted spaghetti he had to cook it himself. I was not going to go in there and mess everything up again."
But both admit playing the blame game and finger-pointing is not getting the spill cleaned up - and the situation was made worse when the couple's beagle named Pepper licked up a substantial quantity, then fouled the den rug with what the couple calls "the blatz". "Pepper shot diarrhea like a fire hose," Wallace said, "but today his coat at least looks great."
For now, however, the spill cleanup is stalled by the in-house bickering as it continues to drift southward, threatening the laundry room and pantry. "All this sitting around talking is not getting the oil cleaned up," stated Greenberg from his lounger. "I do know this - Debbie claims she is going to 'kick my ass' out to the kitchen soon if I don't do it on my own. We'll see about that."
