Several bags of discarded Sun Chips was the source of a fisticuffs that erupted in front of a 7-Eleven dumpster around 5 PM Tuesday.
A Sun Chips delivery guy was spotted by several 7-Eleven shoppers emptying three cardboard boxes of the snacks into the dumpster. Afterwards, nine people sat in their cars, patiently waiting while the Sun Chips guy sat in his van for several minutes, eating a pudding cup, talking on his cell phone and smoking a cigarette. When he finally started his van and drove off, all 9 dove for the dumpster at the same time, making a grab for the discarded chips.
“I seen all those people waitin’ and watchin’,” said 7-Eleven clerk David Wallenski, just after the melee was broken up by a Hanover deputy. “It was like watchin’ a tornado blowin’ in – they was sittin’ in their cars and such, daring that Sun Chip guy to leave so they could go after those chips.”
And go after the chips they did. The minute the guy drove away all 9 slammed into the dumpster hatch at the same time, making a grab for the out-of-date chips, despite the fact most of the bags were floating in 2 slimy inches of liquid leachate. Eventually an argument started, which erupted into a full-blown riot inside the putrid, festering dumpster.
“I chunked a bunch of out-of-date sandwiches in there almost a month ago, & they were still there – they’re drinkable by now - but that didn’t slow down those divers,” said Wallenski as he swept up around the site of the fracas. “They were focused, man, and they weren;t gonna let a bunch of liquefied sandwiches get in the way of their Sun Chips.”
When contacted for a comment about the skirmish, the Sun Chips distributor only shook his head, noting that it’s always the same story in Doswell. “We are instituting steps to discard unsellable snack products away from the Doswell area,” said the unnamed source. “Those locals stop at nothing when it comes to a freebie.”
