Loveable boob Leon the Stop n’ Go stock boy yanked something serious in his left gluteus this past Wednesday while he performed his patented “Break down with Leon” move for spare change in the parking lot, just a dozen feet north of the notorious Doswell fart cloud.
Witnesses attest that Leon recovered from the head spin only to painfully wrench his back left when his torso went right, causing an audible snap from the seat of his pants just under his wallet. Clapping patrons say they thought his twisting and twitching just after that was part of the act, and no one lifted a finger to assist him when he crashed to the pavement, spilling his John Deere cap full of change.
“I am afraid to report that this week’s ‘Break down with Leon’ feature has been postponed” claims Ramud Dumar, the palindrome-named owner of the Stop n’ Go and Leon’s employer. “Let’s all hope for government health insurance soon so Leon can get the medical care he so desperately needs during this trying time.”
Currently Leon has been admitted to the Patient First on Woodman Road in Richmond’s north side, where he shares a couch with an octogenarian swine flu sufferer and a gunshot victim. “They’re talking of releasing me soon,” he claims, raising his voice over the gagging barks of the swine flu guy. “It’s crowded on this couch, and the gunshot guy won’t stop bleeding.”
“Break down with Leon” may resume within a week after Leon’s release from Patient First.
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