Verdon Road resident and father of five giant eating machines Ward Maxwell had an unexpected thrill last Saturday when he discovered a lone Pop-Tart hidden behind some bags of pasta in the back of their pantry.
“It was uncanny,” claimed the somewhat impoverished dad, “I was cleaning out several empty cereal boxes when I dropped some sacks of Costco white rice and macaroni. Behind the bags I saw an old Pop-Tart box. I picked it up to throw it away and noticed something was inside – I looked and surprise! There was a Pop-Tart!”
Maxwell says the half-life of a box of Pop-Tarts is measured in minutes once they pass through the front door. “In this house things like Pop-tarts, donuts, Doritos and Little Debbies last no time at all – once the kids get wind of food like that it’s like a shark frenzy. Once I saw my son Moose eat 3 Moon Pies without unwrapping them. Another time my twins roared through half a box of the dog’s Gaines Burgers before they realized they weren’t Little Debbies.
Maxwell said that even though the Pop-Tart was a month out of date and a less than desirable flavor (coconut fudge) he savored it anyway after heating it lightly in the family toaster. “It’s been years since I enjoyed a Pop-Tart as much as I enjoyed this one” he said, glad to deny his kids Moose (19), Lardo (17), twins Brick & Tank (16) and Lurch (14) the pleasure of the revered toaster pastry and eating it outside so none of them could hear or smell it.
1 Effusive Praises:
what's that crawling in the center of my pop tart?
Post a Comment