Old Ridge Road gastronome and walking health hazard Eric Waldbauer and his wife Wanda enjoyed a pleasant afternoon this past Saturday on the warm side of Lake Anna after enjoying a picnic lunch of 21 pieces of Food Lion day-old chicken.
“This is the life” admitted Waldbauer, as he ground out one filterless Chesterfield and lit another one, sitting back in his john boat as Wanda struggled to row his cement-like lard ass through the water back to shore. “Being on the lake always makes me forget about my trials and tribulations, but also my dialysis, my fistula, my various bags that Wanda has to empty all the time, and especially my upcoming exploratory surgery.”
Waldbauer says he hopes the government health care bill passes so he can get off the free state health insurance and disability he currently enjoys and get on a higher-class federal program. “I hear the government health insurance will pay for your cigarettes – that’s great news, cause these babies cost me a fortune.”
Waldbauer suddenly stopped talking and smacked himself in the chest. “Hey honey, my heart stopped again,” he said in a breathy voice, his face turning scarlet. “Did you bring the paddles?”
“This is the life” admitted Waldbauer, as he ground out one filterless Chesterfield and lit another one, sitting back in his john boat as Wanda struggled to row his cement-like lard ass through the water back to shore. “Being on the lake always makes me forget about my trials and tribulations, but also my dialysis, my fistula, my various bags that Wanda has to empty all the time, and especially my upcoming exploratory surgery.”
Waldbauer says he hopes the government health care bill passes so he can get off the free state health insurance and disability he currently enjoys and get on a higher-class federal program. “I hear the government health insurance will pay for your cigarettes – that’s great news, cause these babies cost me a fortune.”
Waldbauer suddenly stopped talking and smacked himself in the chest. “Hey honey, my heart stopped again,” he said in a breathy voice, his face turning scarlet. “Did you bring the paddles?”
1 Effusive Praises:
the guy in the boat looks like the character that lives down the dirt road across from my property. REDNECK!
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