A major work slowdown in Janitorial services statewide has forced Flat Iron Road resident Harvey Kenney (DMV photo, left) to instead spend his days working as a heart surgeon.
“This economy sucks” Kenney stated through a surgeon’s operating mask as he cauterized a bleeder on a 57-year-old cardiac patient at St. Mary’s hospital Cardiac Care Center in Richmond. “I am trained as a janitor – brooms and mops are my tools. Instead I’m up to my elbows in guts and blood, trying to help yet another atherosclerosis patient live to see another steak and egg breakfast buffet.”
Armed with his 2007 Bachelor’s degree in Environmental Services from J. Sargent Reynolds Community College western campus, Kenney beat the streets for employment in his chosen field unsuccessfully for weeks. “I went into over 4 dozen office buildings, pointing out the deficiencies in their current cleaning systems and how I could improve on them,” he says, massaging the patient’s heart in his bare hands, “But they all said they had a cleaning company or their own in-house janitorial staff and were not interested in changing or adding to it at this time, blah blah blah. It’s brutal, I tell ya.”
Kenney was forced to take a heart surgeon’s job only after financial circumstances proved too overwhelming. “I was walking out of St. Mary’s surgical center after yet another failed interview, when this guy who overheard me yelled and asked if I would be interested in operating on this patient they brought in, because the usual surgeon was stuck in traffic. I shrugged and said ‘why not’- I needed the couple of hundred dollars the job would pay.”
After that first surgery Kenney was asked to stay on, if he wanted the work. “It’s not really what I want, but I’ll hang in here until something better comes along. I understand their current cleaning company’s contract is up for renewal in October.”
At the end of this interview an ambulance pulled up and yet another cardiac arrest was wheeled out and into the O.R. Kenney shook his head and began scrubbing up yet again. “Maybe one day I’ll put my career to use, but for now, it’s back to the rib-spreaders.”
