Kids, however, think they must be poor
A recent impromptu visit to the local Dollar Tree at VCC proved to be a bonanza for Doswell Dad Morey Strickland, as he discovered discount oatmeal cream pies that he insists are “just as good as Little Debbies”.
“This is how it’s going to be,” says the elated and miserly Strickland, as he unwrapped a mashed and somewhat mangled Mrs. Freshleys brand pie and took a bite. “They are perfectly acceptable. I’m not gonna pay anymore for that little girl in the hat, because when you pay $3.99 for a box of Little Debbies, that’s what you’re paying for – the girl in the hat.”
The Strickland children, Caitlin (age 9) and Anne (age 14) are appalled at their dad’s choice of oatmeal-based snack products. “Ew, my friends are going to think we’re on food stamps,” says Caitlin, turning up her nose at the oddly-colored cream-filled snacks, which as dad points out only cost $1 for a box of eight.
Anne was more demonstrative in her disapproval of the low-budget snacks. “I don’t need it all over Facebook that my dad bought Dollar Tree cream pies. I refuse to eat them – there’s a reason why they’re at Dollar Tree.”
Dollar Tree manager Gina Troxler admits the quality of the oatmeal pies may not be as “commercially appealing” as the Little Debbie brand. “But I can guarantee the freshness. We do not sell out-of-date or ‘tainted’ food items. Even those packages of turkey bacon in the freezer that look just like a shrink-wrapped bag of human tongues is guaranteed fresh and in-date.”
Morey, however, says that this is the way it’s going to be for now on. “I’m not going to waste my money on those high-dollar cream pies when these Dollar ones are perfectly fine,” he says, getting on his high horse. “If they aren’t good enough for the girls they don’t have to eat them. Maybe when they grow up and move out of the house and get jobs and pay their own bills they can buy all the high-dollar cream pies they want.”
