Pontificating that it is no civilized way to order food, Doswell’s Morey Strickland has permanently sworn off drive-thru windows of all kinds, including banks and drug store prescription windows, and especially fast food.
“In my day when we ate out we dressed up, went to a respectable restaurant and ordered food from a guy in a tux with a boutonniere,” he blathered, again on his high horse, “we didn’t yell into a box. I refuse to yell into a box.”
Strickland’s main issue with drive-thru windows is that he cannot understand the employee “barking at him” and the order invariably winds up incorrect because of the mis-communications.
“Dad’s problem is he doesn’t speak ‘drive-thru’,” says daughter Caitlin, 14. “He mangles the order because he goes overboard trying to get it right. None of the rest of us has a problem ordering, but dad screws it up every time. If you want to see him get totally mad ask him about the famous ‘no ice’ problem at the Carmel Church McDonald’s.”
“That was insane,” says Morey, his blood pressure spiking at the question. “Anne wanted a Diet Pepsi with no ice. I yelled into the box I wanted the number 3 hamburger meal with French-style potatoes and a Diet Pepsi, no ice. The marble-mouth illegal came back and said, ‘Do you want that with no ice?’ and I answered, ‘Yes! No ice!’ Guess what? It came with ice!”
“Honey,” Martha chimed in, “don’t call him an illegal. You can’t prove that.”
“Well OK, but here I go,” Morey continued, waving his finger in the air for emphasis, “I park the car and I march back in there and tell the manager that I specifically said I wanted this diet drink with no ice. He threw it away and gave me an empty cup. I said ‘where’s the drink?’ and he said I had to fill it myself, pointing at the soft drink dispenser. What kind of customer service is that? I was so angry I accidentally put ice in it again. That’s no way to treat a paying customer, and I refuse to patronize that restaurant again.”
“Driving-through is a method of ordering food that never should have happened. What happened to good old sit-down courtesy, and making eating out a luxury? It’s gone to hell, that’s what it’s done.”
