A water-logged photo (right-hand picture above) found while rooting around inside Doswell crazy man Roscoe Something-or-other’s shack may indicate he is actually royalty or descended from such.The tattered and stained 4x6 black-and-white photo shows a dashing, bearded dignitary in a tux, sporting a sash and medals pinned to his chest. His grey-tinted hair shows a dash of Grecian formula, as does his rugged beard. Wearing wrap-around sunglasses, the man is looking off to his right, an unlit cigar dangling from his lips. On the back of the photo is written, in faded #3 pencil, “Good cheese, Roscoe Ma--, Gazebo”
“The man in the picture does indeed sport a remarkable resemblance to Doswell’s Roscoe.” Says Dixie Treat Motor Home Court spokesperson and archivist Herthel Wedig, who studied the photo for several minutes with a big magnifying glass that made her left eye look like a comic fishbowl. Roscoe was the subject of a recent news article in Newsfromdoswell regarding his erratic behavior in Virginia Center Commons Mall in Glen Allen, and his satisfaction with a photo booth picture he had taken at said mall. “It is however, very unlikely that it is the same person. This picture portrays a suave and debonair dignitary. Roscoe is a very dangerous, unhinged mental case, just waiting to explode.”
When asked about the lettering on the back, Wedig brushed it aside, noting that it was most likely the continued rantings of the unhinged local lunatic.
Also, the man in this picture bears a startling resemblance to one in another picture taken three years earlier at a private residence on Noel Road. The man referred to himself as the “Viceroy of Plinth”, and he is shown with a woman, identified as the “Viscountess of Shapu l’elsey”. They visited Doswell for almost a week in 1976, staying with local residents, before abruptly leaving town in July of that year with (reportedly) hundreds of dollars in stolen shoes.Newsfromdoswell sought out this “dangerous, unhinged mental case” to ask him about the veracity of these photos. After much searching again through the abandoned shack where he has been squatting, Roscoe was finally located lying underneath a sopping wet mattress. When dragged out somewhat reluctantly and shown the photo, he shouted “Hospitals spit out the good cheese!”
Even when told that hospitals only use new cheese, not old, the 6’-5” Roscoe went on a tirade of rapid-fire manic muttering, punctuated by jabs at imaginary bats he claimed were flying out of his crazy, matted hair.
Newsfromdoswell may or may not keep abreast of this story.
