Doswell Blogger Dismisses FilthyRichmond.com’s Account of First Meeting

Jocelyn Testes-Harder “Got hardly anything right”

Doswell blogger Dale Brumfield dismisses Filthyrichmond’s Jocelyn’s account of their meeting last weekend as “folly”, noting that the foul-mouth woman “got none of it right”.

“While it is true I met Jocelyn downtown, what she failed to mention was that she seemed to be hammered on some homemade wine-type concoction she came up with that involved Aqua-Velva and melted cough drops,” says Brumfield, obviously rattled by the encounter and subsequent blog entry. “She had on these knee-high lace-up boots that made her even more scary, and that missing tooth gap was filled with the remnants of a Nate’s Taco. She was quite a sight.”

“It was hard to tell if she was hitting on me,” Brumfield continued, “but I never invited her to my home in Doswell. I wish to make that very clear, especially to my wife and kids.”

Testes-Harder said in the blog that she drove to the Brumfield compound, which was fitted with a “guard tower and a tall fence” and that she was “assaulted by several homely women and about 60 kids”. “A complete bust,” says Brumfield, “The Dixie Treat Motor Court has a gate and a fence, and the people fit the description. She was so blitzed she couldn’t tell the difference.”

Jocelyn’s report goes on to relay a strange story of having her head dunked in a water-filled tractor tire, seeing her sins and being absolved of them by Brumfield. “What a load,” Brumfield responds. He then claims that after speaking to some Dixie Treat residents he got to the bottom of the mystery.

“She actually stumbled on the front porch of my friend and Dixie Treat resident Ray-Ray Collier. In fact, that picture on her site is my head photoshopped on Ray-Ray from last summer’s ‘Hawaii Five-O, Book’em, Ray-Ray’ party.” Brumfield explained that Ray-Ray rebuilds car engines in his trailer bathroom, so he had a Port-O-Let moved in his yard. “Ray-Ray’s indoor toilet is filled with Saf-T-Kleen solvent so he can wash engine parts. He uses the port-o-let outside. That whole thing about me pushing Jocelyn’s head into a tractor tire was really Ray-Ray holding her hair back when she threw up in the port-o-let. Ray-Ray is always the ultimate Doswell gentleman. If you’re female and vomiting, Ray-Ray will be there holding your hair.”

Collier admitted to holding the blogger’s head then driving home later that evening after she insisted on him buying her a pair of thumbless mittens. “She was really out there,” he says, “but her breath smelled like cherry menthol-eucolyptus.”

Brumfield says he harbors no ill-fillings toward the erratic and unbalanced Jocelyn, despite the untruths delivered in her blog entry. “Sorry I’m not really a Shaman – but you know, Wanda over on Ten-High Boulevard says she is a Reiki Master, so we got that going.”