New Market Mill Road resident and bass boat inventor Charles Hammer claims to have also patented a “foolproof” cat carrier, designed to contain even the most angry, bitter, inbred, feral or bad-tempered cat out there.
“The idea just come to me one Saturday after a few cold ones and takin’ a break from trying to get my bass boat off the bottom of the lake,” claims Hammer, who is between jobs (his old one at H&H Auto Repair and his upcoming one at Kosmo Machine Shop). “Dottie reminded me I had to catch Blowtorch and hold him somehow so she could worm him and express his glands ‘cause he was scootin’ on her mother’s afghan again.”
Supposedly, “Blowtorch” is quite an unpleasant cat, according to the Hammers. “You reach under the sofa for Blowtorch, you pull back a bloody stump,” says Dottie. “And when I gotta express his glands, he throws a bloody fit, then when I’m done he goes off and pees in the laundry hamper.”
“The beauty of my cat carrier is that once the cat is secured in it you can open the rear flaps to give him a good wormin’ and squeezin’.” says Charles, pictured at left with his bass boat. “And he can’t do nothin’ but holler, cause the carrier got him penned in pretty good. I knew when I come up with this I was on to something.”
The cat carrier is not Hammer’s first adaptation of a 12-pack carton. “A few years ago I took a carton, opened up the flaps and put it on my boy’s head. He grabbed a plastic sword and all of a sudden he was Knight of the Black Label. I’m a genius not just in bass boats but in ways of beer carton fabrication – a ‘renazonce’ man one might say.”
“The idea just come to me one Saturday after a few cold ones and takin’ a break from trying to get my bass boat off the bottom of the lake,” claims Hammer, who is between jobs (his old one at H&H Auto Repair and his upcoming one at Kosmo Machine Shop). “Dottie reminded me I had to catch Blowtorch and hold him somehow so she could worm him and express his glands ‘cause he was scootin’ on her mother’s afghan again.”
Supposedly, “Blowtorch” is quite an unpleasant cat, according to the Hammers. “You reach under the sofa for Blowtorch, you pull back a bloody stump,” says Dottie. “And when I gotta express his glands, he throws a bloody fit, then when I’m done he goes off and pees in the laundry hamper.”
“The beauty of my cat carrier is that once the cat is secured in it you can open the rear flaps to give him a good wormin’ and squeezin’.” says Charles, pictured at left with his bass boat. “And he can’t do nothin’ but holler, cause the carrier got him penned in pretty good. I knew when I come up with this I was on to something.”The cat carrier is not Hammer’s first adaptation of a 12-pack carton. “A few years ago I took a carton, opened up the flaps and put it on my boy’s head. He grabbed a plastic sword and all of a sudden he was Knight of the Black Label. I’m a genius not just in bass boats but in ways of beer carton fabrication – a ‘renazonce’ man one might say.”
