Posters designed specifically for apathetic, fearful employees toiling in a tough economy and just trying to make it until 5 o’clock
Entrepreneurial Doswell couple Marv and Dot Fleagle plan to hit the big time with their introduction of a line of motivational posters for home, office, cubicle, rancid break room, shop floor, time clock, tool crib and cafeteria.
"Suckcessories! represents a new branding in the motivational wall covering market,” explains Marv. “Me and Dot have researched the workplace not from the employer’s POV, but from the employee’s, who has a much more influential role in determining the overall psychological dynamic of their workplace, and usually in a more negative and condescending manner.”
According to Marv’s research, conducted last Friday, the effort Managers spend in an economic downturn trying to motivate their employees is inverse to the motivation that actually occurs.
“A middle manager, charged with upping morale with the prairie-dogging cubicle troops, can spend all day flapping his gums and massaging egos to increase productivity with little to no result. On the other hand, my studies show motivation dramatically increases among the same employees when they are given the chance to vent against those very bosses and co-workers who attempt to motivate them. It is a direct proportional inversion.”
What studies? “Um, it’s mostly anecdotal,” Marv said, confusing this reporter even more, “I spoke with a sampling of hourly employees from 4 Doswell businesses. Trust me, it’s all done on the up-and-up.”
“We call it a celebration of mediocrity. Employee confidence in a lousy economy trends toward abject sarcasm as a motivating factor.” Marv went on. “Suckcessories!–brand motivational posters address the spiraling morale of the dispirited worker, forging a kinship between the frustrated employee and a sheet of cardstock containing a stock photo and a platitude hanging on a wall.”
Fleagle says the posters are due back from Kinko’s next Wednesday, and will be available online at suckcessories!.com. Meanwhile, readers of this news blog can get a sneak slideshow of the posters here (double-click the slideshow below for a larger version)
