“Put in a gallon of gas & I’ll double that quote” says sarcastic salesmanDoswell resident Richard Alford was “humiliated” last week at the CarMax dealership in Short Pump when he tried to sell them his car, a tomato-red 1981 Buick Skylark (at left).
“They say they’ll buy any car, but that’s not true, and besides those guys were all a bunch of wiseacres, making their sarcastic comments about my car,” he complains, “It was like I wandered into a Dean Martin celebrity roast, but with only Don Rickles and no Orson Welles or Bob Newhart.”
Alford admits the Skylark was not the most attractive or in the best condition of most of the cars usually brought into CarMax. “The odometer busted at 546,657 miles, and that was like two years ago.” He claims, “It’s a tad rusty, and maybe the windows don’t work, and the heater core leaks, and the headliner dropped down, and it really smells like somebody died in it, but hey – it drove here just fine!”
“I told Mr. Alford that if he put a second exhaust pipe on that car he would have a decent wheelbarrow.” said Ron Smith, Manager of the purchasing department. “Seriously, the car was crap. I had no idea one of those Skylarks could go this long. Cars like that brought in here make us want to re-evaluate our buying policy.”
Alford eventually told CarMax to “forget it” and tried driving back home, but the car stalled and had to be towed from the CarMax parking lot. However, the towbar yanked the front axle loose on one side, rendering the car useless. “Those sales guys then unleashed another barrage of bad jokes at my expense,” Alford gripes. “Telling me that it’s a good thing the rear window defrosters work because I can keep my hands warm while I push it to the junkyard, and stuff like that. I’ve heard that stupid joke a dozen times, almost always from my wife.”Alford abandoned his plans to use Carmax and now plans to sell the Skylark through the Trading Post. “Once I sell it I’ve got my eye on a 1980 Pontiac Sunbird. The guy only wants $50 for it.”
