Ashland Mary Kay cosmetic beauty consultants Carlisa Waddington and “Megs” Boatwright are in a royal snit over Doswell consultant Anna Beachum’s encroachment into what they consider their Mary Kay “turf” – the no-man’s land between Ashland and Doswell bordered by Independence, Horseshoe Bridge and Blanton Roads.(Pictured: the Beachum Mary Kay Cadillac, parked outside the Transon residence. Picturetaken by Megs Boatwright, stolen from her purse by Newsfromdoswell)
The war was precipitated by Beachum scheduling a full facial makeover Wednesday at 7:30 PM at the home of Wanda Transon, whose address is Ashland but whose house technically lies within the Doswell jurisdictional province. Waddington and Boatwright noticed the tell-tale pink Cadillac belonging to Beachum in the Transon driveway when “motoring” from Waddington’s horse farm on Independence Road into Ashland for a fete at Ashland Coffee and Tea. Reports of the fete being a performance by Peggy’s son the Doswell conceptual artist, while deliciously ironic, could not be verified.
Once ascertained that it was indeed Beachum’s pink caddy in the Transon driveway, and after two or three gin rickeys, Ashland reps Waddington and Boatwright put in a midnight phone call to the Transon residence, warning the freshly-made-over Wanda that “a virtual facial makeover that she will never forget” may be forthcoming to her and her family should she elect to continue to deal with the Doswell Mary Kay rep Beachum.
Laughing at the stupidly hushed tone of the call, obviously made with a linen embroidered handkerchief held over the cell phone by Boatwright, Transon then made a call to Beachum, informing her of the threat made by the Ashland women. Having encountered the two insanely territorial Ashland reps once before at the Ashland Fireman’s Carnival in 2005, Beachum took matters into her own hands and reportedly smeared the Boatwright Lexus with the words “Eat my Makeup” in Honey Buttermilk Twilight lip gloss, a big seller for the cosmetics giant, while it was parked beside the Coffee and Tea two nights later.
“Those ladies have been peeing on the bushes around western Hanover for years,” says Beachum, in a characteristic display of Doswell impudence. “They have tried to lay claim to every dead-end backwater in this county. But who's driving the pink Cadillac? Me, that's who.”
The war has reportedly escalated, with the warring factors trading jabs, snits and back-stabs. Unaccustomed to such a direct threat to their business, the Ashland reps hurl nonsensical pseudo-insults at the “bottom-drawer” Doswell rep Beachum, claiming that she “buys ice cream at the Dairy Queen” rather than the more upscale Cold Stone – an insult that comes across as more of a joke.
Beachum, however, is much more blunt in her threats, claiming both of the “snooty” Ashland reps “better walk fast across the Ukrops crosswalk, if they know what’s good for them”.
Caught-in-the-middle make-over patron Wanda Transon claims that despite the threat made by the Ashland ladies, she is taking no sides in the turf war. “I see both sides” she claims. “Ms. Beachum does a better job with the makeover, but those Ashland women have better snacks at their parties, including Cold Stone ice cream and a ‘no stopping the toppings’ sprinkles bar.”
